My father is gay
After 20 Years of Marriage, My Dad Came Out As Gay
The first day my dad tried to tell me he was male lover, it didn't travel well.
He had come to call on me at college and as I exited the airport and pulled onto the freeway, he started delivering a vague and aimless speech about religion, sexuality and world vs. nurture. What I gleaned from his ramblings were that he believed that human sexuality was a continuum and that if he hadn't been born and raised in a religious faith that shunned homosexuality, he might have gravitated more towards that side of the spectrum.
"Sure," I said. "That makes sense." And then we dropped the subject. We spent the repose of the evening hanging out and talking about average, mundane things. Although my dad felt relieved because he thought he'd "come out" to me, I didn't get the message. In my 21-year ancient mind, he'd posed a hypothetical situation that had nothing to do with the reality of our life. It didn't compute. I didn't understand that it was my Dad's way of telling me he was gay.
It didn't sink in until a few months later when I received a dial from my 13-year-old sister. She was upset and crying so hard I could b
My dad came out as queer when I was 7, but my parents hid the correctness from me for years. Denying his reality hurt me.
I've been watching in horror as Florida lawmakers have passed the nebulous but damaging "Don't Say Gay" bill. As the daughter of a gay man, the sister of a gay woman, and the mother of a bisexual person teenager — and someone who reached a place of casual acceptance after a few complex years — I was shocked.
I know from experience that keeping the truth from kids doesn't do them any favors; in fact, it just complicates everything.
My parents didn't tell me for years that my dad was gay
My father left my mom when I was 7, but I didn't know why, or that the "best friend" he lived with was much more, until I was almost 13. This was back in the 1970s, when expert advice convinced my parents to keep the truth from us.
For about five years I assumed my dad wasn't dating anyone and believed my parents would eventually fetch back together. Once I knew, I saw the past through different eyes.
My dad took us out for dinner one darkness to a restaurant where the waiters were gay — they all knew my father and his boyfriend, who apparently were regulars.
I got angry that nighttime, and w
My father was gay. He was born in 1918. In my 20s, he started telling me stories about his early animation. He was out in the 1930s at a time when it wasn’t common. He had dreams that most would not believe he dared to dream. The problem with my dad telling me all of this was that he was still married to my mother.
In 1939, at a party in the Hollywood Hills with gay filmmakers and musicians, he was arrested. Police officers handcuffed the men, herded them into a van, and took them to jail. The following morning, he appeared before a judge for sentencing. Because the arresting officer couldn’t swear that he saw him touching his dance partner, he was released.
Then he was caught up in an illegal sting operation in Pasadena that targeted male lover men. They were extorted by the police for cash payments in go back for conditional release. His dreams of being a schoolteacher and living with his boyfriend were destroyed.
As World War II loomed, he attempted to enlist in the U.S. Navy, but he was rejected when his record revealed that he was same-sex attracted. The Army eventually approved him, perhaps because war was imminent and able-bodied men, even gay ones, were needed.
Before my father shipped
My father (87) with moderately severe dementia is making inappropriate sexual comments. Anyone else dealt with this?
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